Two of the greatest mysteries of the universe: 1) Why are we here? 2) How come Chinese restaurants don’t serve breakfast? Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes. I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic.. America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos. One thing that always bugged me is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.