Why isn’t the iPhone’s battery life called “Apple Juice”? A sign on the wall of the drug store said, “Ask the pharmacist if you have questions.” How would the pharmacist know if I have questions? Sarcasm is a body’s natural defense against stupid. Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef? Her: I bet he’s thinking about other women. Me: Why the hell doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? So many people are obsessed with vampires these days….who needs vampires when a mortgage and a job are enough to suck the life out of you.