Don’t listen to Billy Joel’s piano man. It turns out that making love to your Tonic & Gin will get you thrown out of the bar. Turns out the button on the elevator with the fireman’s hat on it is not the button for a free fireman’s hat. I answered a telephone call yesterday but the person at the other end just kept on sneezing. I just hate cold callers. Every time I eat Chinese I feel like I weigh won ton. My friend wants to meet someone the old fashioned way, so I’m considering offering 2 cows and some fine china to a man she doesn’t know if he agreed to take care of her. It would be helpful to have the audience from “The Price is Right” around when I am making those critical life decisions.