Sooooo, ..a friend of mine was watching my dog lick herself in a certain area. Out of nowhere he says, “I wish I could do that.” …I said, “Go ahead, but she might bite.”… I’m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid. What happened to all the Sour Patch parents? I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins. Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you “fall asleep right now”.